If people talk behind your back, it only means you are two steps ahead.
Yes, I'm lost . . . but I'm making GREAT time!
I'd rather visit the zoo than most of my relatives
I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
A girls Facebook picture has 200 Likes and 100 Comments What's missing? - Her clothes..
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
I think the freezer deserves a light as well
I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call
Do not machine wash or tumble dry means I will never wash this thing I have ever.
The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.
There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense.
When you have your head up your butt, 4 of the 5 senses do not work.
Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.
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