Did you ever notice: Buffet is a French term, It means "get up and get it yourself."
Don't do for others what, given the chance, they wouldn't do for themselves.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.'
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Sheep shrink when it rains?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Opportunist: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
People never grow up; they just learn how to act in public.
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
Middle age is when you are warned to slow down by a doctor instead of a policeman
What are three words any woman never wants to hear when she is making love? "Honey, I am home!"
I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
There was a beautiful young woman banging on my hotel room door all night! I finally had to let her out
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