When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $9.95 a minute.
Any woman that thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.
If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: 'Take two aspirin' and 'Keep away from children.'
Shouldn't all married men forget their mistakes? After all there's no sense in two people remembering the same things right?
There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it.